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But just like during Lent, the rules were strict here.Another strange financial aspect to Christian Mingle: I had to Christian Mingle sent annoying emails every couple of days, especially if my activity dropped off (see the screenshot above).I did not meet the religious (or spiritual, or atheist) man of my dreams, but I did laugh — a lot.And I scored one late-night invitation to come over to someone’s house in my pajamas, which I declined. It sucks to be one of the only kids in your elementary school not getting a visit from Santa, and it still sucks as an adult.Plus, when you find a match, an animation of someone getting lifted in a traditional wedding chair pops up.After a disappointing few weeks on Christian Mingle, I was desperate for someone to talk to me.I didn’t have one, so I chose the Old Testament instead. ) My Christian friends informed me that choosing a whole book wasn’t technically a passage, and that I could go with a popular section like “Love is patient, love is kind,” but that brought back too many memories of a dying Mandy Moore in .I chose a profile photo of myself in a Santa onesie. It got approved, as did all my other conservatively dressed photos.

Some men put their religious needs right out there, like, “I’m looking for something that loves the Lord.” I was very intrigued by the guy who wrote in his bio, “I have not had a full girlfriend relationship, but one thing I have learned is if a girl shows signs of being annoyed by my presence, the best thing to do is back away quietly.”Not many men seemed enticed by my bio, but I did get a few “smiles,” which, I thought, meant I could chat with them. Christian Mingle charges a subscription fee for you to be able to talk to potential partners.

(I suspect Adam was only on JSwipe to promote his music to women, which is genius marketing.) Respect, Adam. ) flirt asking if he would do a cover of “I Have a Little Dreidel.” Whatever, Adam. Images had to be “NON NUDE” and could not feature celebrities, children, significant cleavage or see-though/sheer clothing.

I wrongly assumed that without the judgment of God, we would be allowed to be a little more risqué with our cleavage.

usually describe my religion as “Jewish, heavy on the –ish.” (Read: I will not go to services or fast on Yom Kippur, but I will swing by your breaking-the-fast party and bring some schmear.)But during a dating dry spell that’s longer (and dryer) than Moses’s 40 days of wandering in the desert, I agreed when asked me to check out some popular religious dating apps and sites.

So I spent a month on JSwipe, dharma Match, Atheist Passions and Christian Mingle.

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