Dating another lawyer at the firm
I feel like this is a subtle form of discrimination.There is only one female partner out of 20 and these are the people voting.A lot of people write in asking “if it’s OK” to ask a kinkier partner to meet them in the middle when it comes to sex. You have done your level best to join your partner in his interests, but they don’t do it for you, and in fact serve as an active turn-off.You say the reason you’ve been together so long is that you two “get along well,” which does not sound like an emphatic expression of love and devotion to me.When I asked what I needed to do to get there I was told I needed to smile more, come out of my office, and attend more company events and happy hours.I attend all holiday parties and major firm events, but I am already working 70-plus hours a week, which leaves me little time for my family.
I’m just not sure I can give any more and the men that were promoted above me rarely attend any of these events, leave the office at 4, and I’m willing to bet were never told to smile more!If you’re already burned out to the point that it’s affecting your health, then I think it’s worth seriously considering leaving, even though you’ve already invested a lot of time and energy into this company.I don’t imagine the pace will let up so significantly after making partner that another few years of this would be sustainable for you.I’ve invested a lot in the company so it’s not that simple to just leave.It’s never simple to “just” leave, of course, but you’ve been given a pretty clear picture of what the company expects from you if you want to make partner.
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Make sure you get at office happy hours but bail once everyone else is two or three drinks in, when they’re less likely to notice you’re slipping out early.